internal struggle

I am having an internal struggle. The situation in Haiti rarely leaves my mind. As a health care provide my instinct is to go and be of service. Unfortunately I am not a surgeon and my particular skills are not in need at this time. BUT, I am feeling helpless and sad. I look at the images of Haiti and I wonder what must it be like. What must it feel like to watch a bulldozer come along and scrape up the dead bodies of the ones you love? What must that fee like? I can't begin to comprehend how one survives but people do. The strength of human spirit is staggering. The power to focus forward to have faith that it will, somehow, get better is fantastic.

Yesterday at work, people were complaining and I though what the hell are we complaining about. We have food, water, shelter, safety. Why is it so hard for us to remember how good we have it at ay given moment. Why is it hard to remember out own fortune? What is it about us that makes us complain and always want more?
When I look at the survivors of Haiti I am saddened but I am also thankful. To be reminded of the greatness of my life is a gift. The goal is to hold the gift as a conscious thought.

I know that in my life I must do more for humanity. I am searching for my vehicle to do so.
My job allows me to give.. but I want to do more and will search for more to do.

I am not sure how this all ties together today but these are just my thoughts. Earlier today I went to a birthday party for Kavita. She is turning one. She is the daughter of my friend Archana. It is Archanas birthday today. Te children were present and having a great time in a blessing moment. No suffering.. just play. They were surrounded by their protectors, their parents... in a world that is safe.

Juztaposed (I am not really sure how that is spelled) with the situation in Haiti. It is some childs birthday there today.. and the word it not safe. Their protectors may be gone.

Tese two situations co-exist. Both real and both valid. The difficulty for me is to keep them side by side as realities to be acknowledged. It is a strange task.

I am feeling a bit off balance.
I would ive to hear how tohers of you are feeling about all of this. Thanks