Newly infected clients.. this week I had three. They are not stupid. They are regular people who got infected with HIV. One seems totally shocked.. This was not what he planned. He is a lawyer. This is not what he thought was going to happen. Two don't seem too upset about it. I get the feeling that they figured it was going to happen.. someday.
All of them understand how HIV is transmitted yet.. they became infected anyway.
Tell me.. why are people not completely afraid of this disease.
HIV is forever. Forever medications, forever infectious. Forever risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer in addition to the illnesses that are associated with HIV itself. Forever changes to your body that are evident of HIV, that are symbols for HIV infection.
Why is sex so overwhelming that our judgment is no long is present. Where does out common sense go?
I have a young female patient . She is 19. She delivered a baby about three months ago and gave it up for adoption. She came into prenatal care very late to find that she is HIV positive. She took her medications to prevent transmission to the baby.. so far it is negative. She continues to take her meds now. I saw her today and we were talking about her plans. She has no family or real friends. She gets support from a local HIV agency who are very concerned for her but she finds then very rigid and overbearing. I asked her today what she wants to do. This is what she said.. " I want to travel around and play around until I get sick".
This made me so sad. Here is a young woman infected through heterosexual sex. She does not really know when. And now.. what is her life to become. As much as I try to tell her that she can manage this disease and live a very long time.. she just sees illness in her future.
This makes me so sad. She has kind of given up.. although she promised me she would take her medications. She also promised me that she wold come see me every three months for lab work and to let me know how she is doing.
She is a child.. roaming alone with HIV. She is beautiful by the way...
Do I think she will practice safe sex... possibly not.. she has no income, no skill, loves alcohol. A very dangerous combination.
What can we do for her?
What can we do to prevent more hers?
How can we love her but not "lock her in a box"?
Why is it OK for my young gay men to get infected as if it is going to happen anyway.. eventually?
Condoms are free and they are everywhere...
there is needle exchange or ways of cleaning needles to prevent the spread of HIV.
There is no excuse in this country to get infected with HIV.
Help me figure this out.......
what do you think???
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Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteThis is a plea full of compassion, honesty and understanding. I think all the work like the work you do to help people, educate people and support people is the only answer. It takes every single one of us to pass along what you wrote to everyone we know. It also takes the people who love you helping you to get what support, encouragement and self-care you need. Would people use bumper stickers or posters that say, "Is there any excuse in this country to get infected with HIV? No. How come? Ask me." Also, I remember how striking it was to see the Quilt...I don't know...what if PBS listed the names daily of each person in this country who died in the last 24 hours infected with HIV? Thanks for writing. You know I appreciate you more than I can say!